Slowing Down & Finding Peace

Life in the fast lane

As a 30 year old woman I've had my fair share of being overactive, busy, and a non-stop hustler. I was one who was labeled as an "overachiever", "responsible", "go-getter", “super productive”, you name it. What it really was for me is high functioning anxiety, and fear of not pleasing others. Perfectionism ruled my days, and I measured my worth by a constant stream of achievements, many of which, in hindsight, offered little genuine fulfillment.

My so-called 'triumphs' often left me feeling burnt out, and jaded. Ranking first in district golf as a senior (55th in the state) should have been a pinnacle moment, but the relentless pursuit of perfection ultimately led to burnout, hindering my college golf career. I was an award winning video producer where people in the community couldn’t wait to work with me on another set. Similarly, my passion for video production, which once brought me immense joy, eventually succumbed to the pressures of constant deadlines, people-pleasing, and the relentless pursuit of 'the next big thing.’ Two activities I once loved and was so passionate about, turned to stress, anger, disgust, and A LOT of disappointment.

The constant pressure to be the 'best' and the expectation to achieve 20 things a day left me feeling drained and overwhelmed. I lacked the patience and self-awareness to recognize the importance of slowing down. This relentless pursuit of 'more' ultimately overshadowed my true potential. It was exhausting and overwhelming. As a competitor I would be on the course for hours trying to fix a swing change knowing it wouldn’t just happen over night but couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t stop until I would be forced to (due to daylight or my temper taking over). I didn’t know how to set boundaries, how to slow down, and enjoy my accomplishments. Things I was truly was passionate about turned into activities I didn’t want to touch for years.

Slowing down and Sunday cruising

I learned and promised myself as an artist and entrepreneur is I won't let myself burn out. I set boundaries for not people pleasing and knowing my capabilities. If it aligns with my company values and mission I am excited to work and execute. But if it doesn’t align I try not to take it on, it’s hard and a crazy business move for those money motivated. However, I prioritize being steady, patient, transparent, and kind. I have a business that focuses on improving people’s mentality and want to work with those who have a similar vision. I love what I’ve turned my brand into over the year and excited to witness the major successes ahead. As someone who was rarely present with many people I now try to make people feel heard and valued. It’s a huge part of listening to others stories when they see my photography. Be kind and patient to others, we all are struggling humans with amazing life stories.

As much as it seems easy to talk about slowing down it took me a while to practice and prioritize it. One small change I did was instead of prioritizing a text or email that stresses me out for 10 minutes, I would take a moment and I find a place to look out away from the screen take a breath and I appreciate the beauty around me. Then I would go back to the email or text with a clear mind and respond. We are conditioned to accelerate at full speed but our bodies and brain naturally want to slow down so we can reset.

The CRASH

Like many, 2020 was a mentally challenging year for me, I was still going through a hard break up of someone I was in love with and finally seeing the true motives of my ex after we ended our relationship months later. I was living alone during the world isolation (COVID-19) and extremely lonely. I was in a mental place that was darkly familiar and extremely scary, I didn't like how I thought about myself or the world. I hated everything, I cried a lot, my self esteem was low, and as much as I thought my masking worked my friends could tell I was down and not myself.

So, I started reading personal growth books, found a wonderful non denominational church and community, focused on reducing my screen time by filling that time with hobbies, I started playing golf again, spent more time with friends, started to travel for my photography, and planned new experiences. Slowing down is a level up in life! By slowing down and making time for me I learned more and experienced more. My energy and mood changed and I am glowing of good positive energy that tends to become a weekly compliment I get and proud of it! Life is more positive and meaningful after slowing down and letting go of being perfect and pleasing others.

So I ask, is the stress and rush worth taking time away from loved ones and your life?

Tips to Slow down.

Limit your screen time → Read, write, paper puzzles like sudoku or word search.

10 minutes internal freak out at desk → 10 minute sit outside with no phone.

1 hour on Netflix → 1 hour golfing, skating, outdoor activity, walking, pickleball, etc.

2 hours sitting on couch → 2 hours sitting on beach or nearby water.

Start by changing your scenery and removing the screen from your face. You got this!

Peace + Love,
Erica ✌️💜